Amateur Hour: Dealing With Annoying Wannabes When You Just Want a Drink

Amateur Hour: Dealing With Annoying Wannabes When You Just Want a Drink - The Loud and Boisterous Business Bros

We've all been there. You finally make it out for a relaxing happy hour drink after a long week, and the murmur of conversation is shattered by a raucous group of businessmen whooping it up over sportsball and market conquests. While we understand the need to decompress with colleagues, must it come at the expense of everyone else's eardrums?

These types parade into the bar reeking of stale airplane cabin air, overpriced cologne, and an overinflated sense of self-importance. Armed with the corporate card, they take over the place as if they own it, standing on furniture to loudly debate market cap as if solving global hunger. You didn't come here for a TED talk on synergizing deliverables - you came here to gossip with your friend and sip an old fashioned in peace. But with this crew bellowing about hostile takeovers and IPOs, you can hardly hear yourself think.

It's even worse when the game is on. These bros live and breathe sports stats, acting like their alma mater is suiting up when it's really just millionaire athletes. As they scream at the screen, you notice flecks of Coors Light and tapas flying from their mouths. They high five and chest bump over every play as if personally responsible for the score. Meanwhile, you are dodging their spittle while trying to enjoy your wine.

At many bars, the staff is loath to confront disruptive patrons who are dropping big bucks on bottles. Other guests are left to suffer in silence or depart in exasperation. But just as in the corporate world, there are still ways for people to tactfully stand up for what's right. If you catch the bartender's eye with a pained look, they may get the hint it's time for the bros to bro down elsewhere. Failing that, a well-placed "Dude, indoor voices!" may remind them there are civilized people present. Or appeal to their capitalist sensibilities: "Wanna bet who the bartender cuts off first?" If all else fails, you may have to be the bigger person and find a quieter watering hole - but at least you tried.

Amateur Hour: Dealing With Annoying Wannabes When You Just Want a Drink - The Fake Photographers Blocking Your View

You finally scored a table with a view at the hottest rooftop bar in town. But just as you settle in to soak up the vista, your sightline is blocked by a parade of poseurs and their professional-grade cameras. While you understand wanting to capture Instagrammable moments, must they commandeer the best sightlines all evening?

These faux photographers are a growing nuisance, monopolizing prime bar real estate to stage repetitive photoshoots. They burst in, tripods and reflectors in tow, loudly directing hired models to "look thoughtful" beside the floor-to-ceiling windows. But once the photos are snapped, the models vanish and the photographers return to scrolling through the pics, assessing their handiwork rather than actually enjoying the view.

They creep ever closer to your table, angling for the ideal backdrop. You came to watch the sunset with your partner, not to photobomb influencers hawking teeth whitener. Yet here you are, dodging a succession of amateur Ansel Adams types and their pay-to-play muses.

Many are not even talented photographers, but well-funded hobbyists trying to garner followers. They clutter everyone's sightlines with their amateur lighting rigs, as if tripods must be planted directly in front of your salad. Often you can see their images are poorly composed, with choppy editing and blown-out contrast. But God forbid you actually try to enjoy the view they're exploiting.

While they have every right to take photos, it shouldn't come at the cost of other patrons' experiences. If you must stage shoots at trendy locales, at least be respectful of people around you. Ask permission before co-opting someone's table for your shots, choose reasonable hours, and don't overstay your welcome. Take a cue from professional photographers who plan shoots at off-peak times or areas that minimize disruption to others.

Amateur Hour: Dealing With Annoying Wannabes When You Just Want a Drink - Influencers Who Can't Influence Anyone

In the age of Instagram, there is no shortage of self-proclaimed influencers looking to turn their lives into envy-inducing content. But while actual influencers do move product, many are just wannabes whose only real talent is staging photos. Nothing kills your buzz more than getting trapped in conversation with one of these frauds desperate to boost their follower count.

You're trying to enjoy happy hour when she sidles up, fishing for compliments about her outfit that she's being #gifted to promote. As she rambles about her #sponsored trip to Cabo, she segues into her Influencer 101 mentoring service, which you can access for the low, low price of $499. You hide your eye roll and swirl your margarita as she drones on. But when she whips out her phone to "collab" on an Instagram Reel, you know it's time to exit stage left.

The worst are those who gatecrash events or restaurants, then act offended when the staff wants them to order something or leave. They march in assuming they'll get comped drinks if they promise an Instagram post, then throw a fit when asked to pay like everyone else. Some even try to make services like Uber Eats and Airbnb work on an #exposure economy model, demanding freebies in return for a couple posts.

While actual influencers can move product if they have engaged followers, these fakers are just thin-skinned millennials offended that the world won't subsidize their lifestyle just because they bought some followers. They confound PR pros by promising insane returns on minimal "partnerships." And they annoy hospitality staff by demanding special treatment without understanding how marketing actually works.

Amateur Hour: Dealing With Annoying Wannabes When You Just Want a Drink - Karaoke Kills the Conversation

We've all experienced it - you and your friends are enjoying drinks and good conversation at your favorite watering hole, when suddenly the speakers crackle to life. Before you can process what's happening, the opening notes of "Don't Stop Believin'" fill the bar as a tipsy patron clutches the mic. While we appreciate people wanting to showcase their talents, does it have to be while we're trying to have a chat? Karaoke is like an unwelcome party guest that just won't leave.

Once the karaoke starts, all side conversations stop as guests awkwardly take in this impromptu concert. The would-be rockstars always start too loud, forcing you to halt your gossip session and plug your ears. You came here to dish about your new flame over margaritas, not perform American Idol judging duty. Yet as Ol' Tipsy McGee warbles Journey, you find yourself critiquing their shaky vocals and mournful vibrato.

The tragic thing is, these vocalists are rarely even good. You're subjected to off-key renditions of the same tired power ballads, sprinkled with forgotten lyrics. At least if they were talented it could be enjoyable, but it's just a cringe-fest of squawking amatuers. You notice even the bartender wincing as he pours shots, as if to numb himself.

Once one person gets the mic, fifteen more come out of the woodwork "for their turn." This means you're trapped for an hour or more of cacophonous crooning, with no chance to resume your converation. Some even hog the mic for three-song sets, belting show tunes or Alanis Morrisette deep cuts. You're ready to scream "You Oughta Know when to let someone else sing!"

Amateur Hour: Dealing With Annoying Wannabes When You Just Want a Drink - Line Cutters Who Don't Wait Their Turn

After waiting 30 minutes for a seat at the bar, you finally get waved over by the bartender. But just as you step up to order, a brash patron swoops in to snag your spot. As the barkeep asks "What can I get you?" they shout out a drink order and shove a credit card across the bar. You're left sputtering in protest as your hard-earned spot is swiped.

Unfortunately, entitled line cutters are an all-too-common nuisance at popular nightlife spots. These impatient patrons think their time is more valuable than everyone else's. Rather than join the queue, they breeze right to the front under the delusion it's their god-given right. After all, they shouldn't have to wait like the common folk.

You notice it most at trendy bars on weekends. Groups decked out in club attire aggressively elbow their way through, feigning confusion when called out. They employ every trick in the book to bypass the line, from sending one person to scout a spot to straight up gaslighting patrons about whose turn it is. Their smug smiles say "What are you going to do about it?" as they order bottle service with your spot.

It's even more maddening when a bartender serves the line cutter. You expect the staff to have your back, but they claim it's not their job to police patron behavior. While understandable, it still stings when they reward the jerk who just stole your seat. Are your loyalties so easily bought with a flashy credit card and big tip?

When appealing to manners fails, more aggressive deterrence may be required. A sharp "Get in line buddy!" may give entitled line jumpers pause. If that doesn't work, play their game and box them out physically. Deploy your elbows and heels as needed to defend your territory. Strength in numbers also helps; rally other jilted patrons to amplify the shaming until the line cutter slinks away in defeat.

Amateur Hour: Dealing With Annoying Wannabes When You Just Want a Drink - Mansplainers Who Won't Let You Get A Word In

After a long week, you finally make it out for Friday night drinks with your girlfriends. As you're gabbing about work drama, you notice a group of men belly up nearby. At first you tune them out, but soon you realize one man is holding court about sports to the others - and he's getting the facts wrong! You want to gently correct him, but every time you open your mouth he talks over you. Here we go again with a mansplainer who won't let you get a word in edgewise!

We've all dealt with these types, who immediately assume they know more than women and proceed to "educate" them. You may know WAY more about the topic, but he dismisses your perspective and speaks to you like a child. Even when you manage to wedge in that you played college softball, he still explains the strike zone as if you've never watched an MLB game. Oh but don't worry, he's here to mansplain it!

It may seem harmless, but this subtle silencing has consequences. When men continually overlook women's voices, it perpetuates the idea that female experiences don't matter. And allowing false "facts" to stand uncorrected enables misinformation to spread.

Since calling out mansplainers directly can result in blowback, you're stuck in a difficult spot. Defend your knowledge, and you're labeled "feisty." Let it slide, and his so-called facts become truth. Either way, he remains secure in his assumed intellectual superiority.

So what's a lady to do? If you catch his eye with a "soft" facial expression, he may take the hint. Failing that, gently asking if you can share your perspective may give him pause. Or defer to a male friend's "expertise" on the topic, forcing the mansplainer to argue with one of his own.

Amateur Hour: Dealing With Annoying Wannabes When You Just Want a Drink - The Overly Handsy Creeps Invading Personal Space

You're chatting with friends at a trendy new club when a hand brushes your back. You turn, assuming someone is trying to squeeze by in the crowded space. But when you make eye contact with the owner of said hand, he smirks and slides closer. As you try to focus on your friends, he starts openly groping you under the guise of "dancing." You freeze, not wanting to cause a scene, but desperately wish the staff would notice his unwanted advances.

Sadly, this is an experience all too commonly faced by women in nightlife settings. Known colloquially as "grabbies," these entitled creeps invade strangers' personal space and touch them inappropriately. They prey on women's tendency not to speak up, gaining confidence when met with polite tolerance rather than outrage. Their actions range from invading your dance space, grinding uninvited, or outright groping intimate areas.

Often, staff looks the other way rather than confronting these patrons and risking a dangerous altercation. Some establishments even quietly encourage it, believing a reputation for being "hands-on" attracts certain male clientele. But every patron deserves to feel safe, not like a target for pawing drunks.

If direct requests to stop are ignored, try seeking an ally. The herd mentality of grabbies makes them less bold when called out by another man. Enlist your male friends to put a stop to it by saying "We're asking you politely to stop touching her before this gets ugly." Failing that, speaking firmly to management about proactively intervening rather than making female guests police their own bodies may inspire more rigorous monitoring. You can even file a formal complaint via email if the harassment is egregious enough.

Amateur Hour: Dealing With Annoying Wannabes When You Just Want a Drink - How to Politely Deal With Annoying Bar People

Dealing with annoying bar patrons can really put a damper on a fun night out. We’ve all been there - the loud talkers yammering about work drama, the drunk singers mangling karaoke tunes, the line cutters elbowing their way to the front. While their antics may be disruptive, there are still polite ways to handle these aggravations without ruining your evening.

The key is to address problems tactfully without escalating tensions. Put yourself in their shoes - they likely have no idea they’re bothering anyone, or feel entitled to act however they want. A kind reminder that their behavior affects others may inspire self-awareness. Don’t be confrontational, which can kick off a messy spat. Instead, catch their eye with an “I’m in misery!” look that subtly cues them to dial it down. Sometimes, that’s all it takes.

If not, gingerly ask to chat and gently explain the issue. Say you love their enthusiasm, but the volume makes it hard to hear your friends. For line cutters, note you’ve been waiting awhile and don’t mind them joining if they get in back. They may be oblivious to the disruption they’re causing, and giving them an easy out to save face avoids it escalating into a blowup.

In extreme cases, enlist the bartender’s help. They deal with problem patrons regularly, and a quick “hey, that guy is really bothering me” avoids you looking like the bad guy. The staff can then diplomatically intervene without things getting ugly.

And don’t be afraid to joke - humor defuses tense situations. If choruses of “Living on a Prayer” threaten to push you over the edge, yell “Freebird!” People appreciate those who can keep things light.

Above all, stay calm. Losing your cool never ends well - you might get kicked out while the annoying patron gets to stay. Kill them with kindness, even if you have to grit your teeth behind that smile. Eventually, they’ll likely get bored and move on to harass someone else.

Stay focused on your own experience. Don’t let frustrating but harmless antics derail a fun night. The goal is to coexist peacefully, not reform all annoying bar behavior. As long as egregious lines aren’t crossed, live and let live. You can escape most annoyances by changing seats or popping in earbuds.